Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
