I'm gonna have a badass scar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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