yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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