is your mom at the bar?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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