I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
