With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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