hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize