NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
