it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
