We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
