Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize