I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
