Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
