i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know her cup size but not her name....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
