this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
