i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
