Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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