i would punch a child for taco bell
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
