You really coming over, don't trick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
