there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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