In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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