He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
