it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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