Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
