I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
