Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
