I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
