I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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