As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
