I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize