I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
