I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
