I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
