not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
