Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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