I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
