we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
