If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
