we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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