I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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