I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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