he puts the penis in happiness.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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