Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
