While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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