dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
