i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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