This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
