Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
