I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
