I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
