I just cut my nipple shaving
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
