Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
