mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
