don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I need a beard to bite.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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