I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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