We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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