Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
