What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize