Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
