So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
