it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
