my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are a genius and a whore.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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