they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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