I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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