his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
