Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
