And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
