Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
