even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
