I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
