She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
