this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
