he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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