Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
