so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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