help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
