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found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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