i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
why is half of my head shaved?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
