You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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