So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My vagina is very pro this idea
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